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Best Poker Chat Put Downs!!
Claydog07 (United States) 66 Posts. Joined 05-06-2008.
07-02-2009 1:34 AM

http://www.aintluck.com/best-poker-chat-put-downs/ posted this review from another forum (the name we do not speak of)

whats your favorite? any other additions?


  • F5 master
  • God Bless Chris Moneymaker
  • nice catch
  • i’ll be dikn ur girl
  • get on your bike
  • Thanks for your donation
  • When does your book come out
  • ty
  • you’re right, i am lucky, you keep sitting at my table
  • wanna play hu
  • PLEASE DEPOSIT MORE COINS TO CONTINUE
  • want some cheese to go with that whine
  • pass the ketchup
  • Thanks for coming
  • ugotpzd
  • Bring on more russians
  • thank you come again
  • save ur breath, u’ll need it for ur date
  • Players only at the table, please
  • I think you got leveled.



  • Vote: Pass the Ketchup----LOL
     
     
     

    damnstraight (Canada) 678 Posts. Joined 06-28-2008.
    07-03-2009 8:28 AM - In reply to

     "Did someone leave the barn door open"?


    The MC (Australia) 154 Posts. Joined 05-05-2009.
    07-03-2009 8:39 AM - In reply to

    FlopNutsOnYou: 

     

    ill fuck you up mudda fucka


    WIN

    Nate Avenson (United States) 971 Posts. Joined 01-29-2008.
    07-03-2009 11:43 AM - In reply to

    GutShotBen: 
    Nate FTW dont tell the fish is a fish ,he's gona try to get bettter.....


    There is some truth to this. But it's not like everytime we say something to a fish about his game he immediately picks up a book and joins PXF.

    I run into players IRL all the time who have heard I play for a living, inevitably they want to know how I do it. "Do you just get real lucky or what?" They'll say. I tell them it's not that hard, just read a few books to get started, then play as much as possible and review your hand histories and look for ways to improve your game. Sometimes I say that in just a sentance, sometimes I elaborate into a 5 minute speil. Here is a rough breakdown of the responces.

    2% - "Cool. What book do you recommend I start with? Could you review some of my hands?" I oblige.

    3% - "I wish I could do that, I just don't have the patience I think." I respond, "Yes. It is painfully boring, but it beats honest work."

    95% - "Yeah, but you still have to catch cards. I'm just not that lucky. Listen to this bad beat I took...." (obv goes on to tell me about a coinflip he lost) I tell him that it is a coinflip, he'll lose about half the time. Standard responce is, "yeah, but he hit the X on the river. ON THE RIVER!!!"


    To someone who doesn't have any desire to master the game, it's all just luck. And I think most of the donks we run into fit this category. We can tell them exactly what they did wrong, why it was wrong, how they can improve that part of the game. We can offer advice, hand them a book, send them a training site link, but still, despite all of that, 95% of the time they'll still say "But you still have to catch cards, I'm not that lucky." And then we have to hear another coin-flip "bad beat" story.

    My point is, I think, in general, you can say just about anything to a fish without it having any real impact on his future as a poker player.



    TiltinShoes (United States) 3,353 Posts. Joined 09-10-2007.
    07-03-2009 12:41 PM - In reply to

    "I'm confused..."

    "That just seemed silly."


    ImaBustYou (United States) 1,068 Posts. Joined 09-24-2007.
    07-03-2009 12:43 PM - In reply to

    "Report to the rail."

    and

    "Get on your bike." - Tony G


    these 2 are def teh best in the thread.


    TiltinShoes (United States) 3,353 Posts. Joined 09-10-2007.
    07-03-2009 2:08 PM - In reply to

    Oh, and I almost forgot.

    "Your mother's an astronaut."


    ace1won (Canada) 2,340 Posts. Joined 07-27-2005.
    07-03-2009 2:24 PM - In reply to

    "Ive lost more money then youll ever win"...it usually confuses them for a minute


    paigowtommy (United States) 69 Posts. Joined 07-11-2008.
    07-03-2009 3:00 PM - In reply to

    GutShotBen: 
    Nate FTW dont tell the fish is a fish ,he's gona try to get bettter.....

    In my experience, I've found that the laws of physics tend to apply to poker players as well.  A fish in motion tends to stay in motion.  Once a fish, always a fish.  I got players in my home game for years, that just seem to get worse and love the abuse of the other players.  I don't know what else to say.

    damnstraight (Canada) 678 Posts. Joined 06-28-2008.
    07-03-2009 3:49 PM - In reply to

    Nate Avenson: 
    GutShotBen: 
    Nate FTW dont tell the fish is a fish ,he's gona try to get bettter.....


    There is some truth to this. But it's not like everytime we say something to a fish about his game he immediately picks up a book and joins PXF.

    I run into players IRL all the time who have heard I play for a living, inevitably they want to know how I do it. "Do you just get real lucky or what?" They'll say. I tell them it's not that hard, just read a few books to get started, then play as much as possible and review your hand histories and look for ways to improve your game. Sometimes I say that in just a sentance, sometimes I elaborate into a 5 minute speil. Here is a rough breakdown of the responces.

    2% - "Cool. What book do you recommend I start with? Could you review some of my hands?" I oblige.

    3% - "I wish I could do that, I just don't have the patience I think." I respond, "Yes. It is painfully boring, but it beats honest work."

    95% - "Yeah, but you still have to catch cards. I'm just not that lucky. Listen to this bad beat I took...." (obv goes on to tell me about a coinflip he lost) I tell him that it is a coinflip, he'll lose about half the time. Standard responce is, "yeah, but he hit the X on the river. ON THE RIVER!!!"


    To someone who doesn't have any desire to master the game, it's all just luck. And I think most of the donks we run into fit this category. We can tell them exactly what they did wrong, why it was wrong, how they can improve that part of the game. We can offer advice, hand them a book, send them a training site link, but still, despite all of that, 95% of the time they'll still say "But you still have to catch cards, I'm not that lucky." And then we have to hear another coin-flip "bad beat" story.

    My point is, I think, in general, you can say just about anything to a fish without it having any real impact on his future as a poker player.




    I pretty much agree with this.

    If you make some  comment in chat like,"nice play donkey", it's hardly going to motivate the player who has no clue how to play to begin with to play better. If they don't understand the basic concepts of the game, like pot odds, starting hand values and position then a nasty comment isn't going to cause them to have an epiphany. They probably just think you are pissed because you lost and they are going to keep playing their game.


    Online poker is full of players who are just out to gamble or are playing for fun, hoping to win a big cash but  don't really care if they lose. I'm sure to them it is like going to the casino once in awhile and playing the slots or black jack, it's all luck and bluffing. I still run into players who say things in chat like, who cares it's only $5. To me that is the sign of a loser, only looking at the little  they may lose rather than the lot they could win. This player obviously has no interest in improving at all.

    If the desire is there to become a better player, it isn't the negative comments that will force them to change. They will figure it out when they start to lose repeatedly that there must be something they are doing wrong and look for sources to help them improve their game. I'm sure that is how most of us went about it.

    That being said there isn't really a lot to be gained by trash talking in chat to a fish either, especially in a cash game where you may make them leave the table. If you are going to target anyone go after the know it all professor types or the cocky table donk who likes to slam his opponents every time he gets lucky and stacks them.

    Had a player like this last night at my table in a 4 handed PLO8 game. He was playing horribly but still managed to knock several players out in a row including me and every time he did he would make a sarcastic comment in chat. I didn't say anything while playing but when he railed me I thought I would knock him off his high horse. Normally if a bad player knocks me out I just leave and say nothing. Bad beats happen, bad players win sometimes may as well move on but when poor players are poor winners I like to give them a taste of their own medicine. Of course he thought he had the upper hand because he had my chips and I was on the rail but soon I started to get to him. I let him run his mouth for a bit then I said to him, I tell you what, if you make the cash I will transfer $20 to your account and if you final table I will make it $50 (and I was being sincere). He laughs and says thanks I will take your money and then I say, oh I know my money is safe, I have the utmost confidence in your stupidity and know you will self destruct. His tone starts to change and he was less talkative now because he had added pressure to perform.  I knew he was going to continue to play like a fool rather than adjust his game, just to prove me wrong and  he  knew that if he lost a big pot that I was going to be laughing at him. Pretty soon that is what happened and the cockiness was replaced with anger.  It wasn't long before he busted out even though he had a huge stack and could have coasted into the money. I laughed my ass off but unfortunately I couldn't get a parting shot at him because the table broke up but I know he had to be pissed.




    MOGREEN (United States) 121 Posts. Joined 12-03-2007.
    07-03-2009 5:01 PM - In reply to

    Never criticize their game obv, just wish them a very grim future after u take a beat

    Aids Immed usually works..but diagf is a all time classic

    Lately I have matured and just been calling them a future darwin award winner then quickly leave, which is surprisingly gratifying


    Suitedace87 (United States) 439 Posts. Joined 06-17-2006.
    07-03-2009 5:15 PM - In reply to

    i just sht on you wit q10o


    bonflizubi (United States) 1,736 Posts. Joined 09-19-2007.
    07-03-2009 5:20 PM - In reply to

    Suitedace87: 

    i just sht on you wit q10o

    this brought tears to my eyes... looooooooooool. sweet!

    BigStack Husker (United States) 914 Posts. Joined 01-22-2009.
    07-03-2009 6:39 PM - In reply to

    blazeman: 

    How do you click your mouse with those hooves?



    I dig this one.

    funnygut (United States) 1,620 Posts. Joined 03-23-2008.
    07-03-2009 6:51 PM - In reply to

    Voland: 
    StupidFlanders: 
    swingset: 

     These are all pretty stupid.



    Agree.  And childish.  This just shows to the immaturity that has taken over the game.  And is also the reason why I play with the chat off so I don't have to see these assinine statments spewed back and forth between people.


    I agree that it's stupid and childish. However I never turn the chat off. This is like the best tells ever... Makes Sharkscope superfluos.
    I'm sorry but I really love this word and you're missing a 'u', superfluous. 

    And while I'd agree that this thread has produced few 'put downs' worth using, GTFO saying that this somehow means "immaturity has taken over the game."  For most of us, this is nothing new, immaturity has always lorded over our daily lives.  The real dooooooshes imo are the ones who refuse to partake in the anonymity and freedom the internet offers because they're so damn mature and well-balanced.  KYS imo.

    Also, 'gg' has never been topped.

    Spiltbongwater (Canada) 855 Posts. Joined 12-20-2008.
    07-03-2009 7:21 PM - In reply to

    I got reported for typeing lmbsmdgfy, and then translating it when the player said he only reads English.  Why did I ever open this thread?  No chat ban as of yet.  Would it happen instantly, or do they do a review process?  The reason I did so, is I have a Seahawks avatar, and dude on rail comes out of nowhere and says how bad they suck. etc. 

     
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