El Burro - Dave Mulecock

The word "Contravan" is derived from the Latin word 'Contra', which means "popular Nintendo game from the 80s", combined with the modern English word 'van', which means "four-wheeled, enclosed vehicle utilized for the transportation of occupants of various species, as well as small, medium or large quantities of goods including (but not limited to): tomatoes, toilet paper, narcotics, weaponry and roller skates". In order to be classified as a "Contravan", a van must be white in color and have as few windows as possible. Bonus points are awarded for a caged cargo area, non-sliding side door, AM radio, manual transmission or any feature that aids in making the van as inconspicuous and non-luxurious as possible. Contravans are typically used by plumbers, or people with the need to transport contraband without being identified by authorities. The primary identifying characteristic of a Contravan is that it "just looks like it's used for doing something illegal...or going to unclog somebody's bathtub drain".