darrenelias - Darren Elias

 
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darrenelias

Profile
Real name
Darren Elias
Age
21
Gender
Male
Member since
11-15-2005
Last login:
10-14-2008
Total Posts:
451
Location:
Redlands
California (United States)
Sites This User Plays On
Sites Name
Screen Name
AbsolutePoker darrenelias
Bodog darrenelias
FullTiltPoker darrenelias
PartyPoker darrenelias
PokerStars darrenelias
UltimateBet darrenelias
Recent Scores
Messages
$35,574.00
$300 buy-in, $90,000 Guarantee on FullTiltPoker. 08/09/2008, 1 place for 35,574.00
$41,760.00
$1000 buy-in, $1K Monday on FullTiltPoker. 07/07/2008, 3 place for 41,760.00
$49,887.45
$300 buy-in, FTOPS Event #9 on FullTiltPoker. 02/10/2008, 6 place for 49,887.45
See All Scores
Current Sliding PLB Score: 3,836.88
(99.03th percentile)
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Favorite Hold'em Hole Cards
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Live 10k Donkaments  NL/PL HE, $3/$6 to $5/$10 
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FullTiltPoker
FullTiltPoker 58k
Las Vegas, NV 
Favorite Online Player(s)
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Profession
shaniac, THE__D__RY, lilholdem, TheWacoKidd  mario raceway  school/poker 

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About darrenelias
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

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