10)
The delays for tournaments to start. Oh, the delays. And the terrible
wait when you bust out early in a home tourney. It’s at times like
these that you ponder the big one: WHY?
9) The food.
What’s that – you don’t like burger and chips? Then you’re going to
die. And the closest you’ll get to fibre in here is the napkin.
Cracking picture, isn't it? Bet the photographer punched the air when he saw how it had come out.
8)
Smelly people. There are a lot of them around. Smelly smokers with
smoky-smelling clothes, or the vile, shapeless smocks that pass for
clothes. Smelly smokers with smoky-smelling clothes who come in from a
smelly smoking break and smell of smoke because they couldn’t be arsed
to exhale their smelly smoke.
7) It seems more like real money you're winning/losing. That's because it is real money.
6)
If you’re not numerically dextrous, not knowing exactly how much your
opponents have/you have/is in the pot. “Hmmm, let’s see, so there’s
about ten reds and oooh maybe 15 blues. So the reds are a hundred… No,
the blues are a hundred, the reds are… Shit, shouldn’t have had that
fifth Kronenbourg.”
5)
Not knowing anyone. You feel a right Johnny No Mates at the breaks,
eking out a pint while you read an interview with Roland De Wolfe in
German in some mag called Polski Poker! Still, it’s better
than muscling your way into some group conversation only to realise
they were discussing the last hand before the break, where you knocked
out some bloke with a runner-runner-runner-runner-runner bottom two
pair, and for you to now be staring at that bloke and hoping that the
“BNP” logo on his T-shirt is an illiterate initialization of “Bracknell
Poker"...
4)
Those torturous discussions about what constitutes a double chance and
can you have a rebuy and an add-on or just one or the other?
3) Going home. The long, tilt-fuelled trek home. Oh mama.
2)
Disputes. Whether it’s a raiser mucking his cards at showdown or
someone moving their chips out with “forward movement”, they never end.
Apparently Tim Berners Lee invented the internet just so that he could
play online and never have to see a string bet again.
1) The number of hands dealt per hour. This can be
expressed as a simple formula: hands dealt online per hour/hands dealt
live = ARRRGGGGHHHHH will some flesh-eating parasite come and eat my
face off and save me from this hell!!! ARRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
More rubbish like this at my full site,
www.raildog.net