Everyone Knows the two most important words in the poker dictionary.
" BANKROLL MANAGEMENT"
But try telling that to a gambler especially a poker gambler and their response will be down the lines of...."Whatever" or "I know what im doing"!
This is because they have little voices inside their head saying things like, "You need to bet big to win back loses". "You got to be in it to win it", "Your time will come".
Well let me tell you guys something, im still waiting for my time to come!
Im only 23 but have been gambling since I was 16. I started going to my local bookies and betting on horses and fruit machines. The bookies of course turned a blind eye to my age as they knew I was easy money. Then when I was around 18 they introduced the "gaming" machines and the roulette wheel. Needless to say you cant beat a machine and one month i lost my entire wages of £600 ($840) in 2 hours!
Then I left home for university and in my second year I discovered poker. Finding this game at the time was like finding "GOD". The first couple of months that I played I would win nearly everyday. Not great amounts, just $20s here $40s there but it was better than losing.
Then one friday I turned $200 into $2500. At the time bankroll management didnt mean anything to me in my poker world. And I rememeber when I was up to $1500, I was playin on tables where the blinds were $5-$10. Now I can LMAO at it but needless to say the next day I blew the lot in 4 hours!
That was 2 years ago this month, and I believe that winning then losing that 2k was the worst thing that could of happened to me.
I spent 18 months after that thinking I could turn "coal into diamonds"( $100 into a couple of thousand). Of course it never happened. I would go on the odd run upto around $600-$700, then go up to a $3-$6 blinds table and blow the lot.
Then in October last year i was introduced to this forum. From posts by you guys on here I have gradually learnt about bankroll management and how to control yourself. So I took the decision to reduce my deposit amount for each week and reduce the table limits. I have been doing this now since christmas and its not easy but its allowed me to live again. I am grinding $1, $3 sngs and mtts and im starting to except variance and in turn not tilting. It has allowed me to pay debts and sort my life out. Yes im still down for the year -$160 but thats better than being -$1000s in the red.
I still have a long way to becoming a complete bankroll nit. Think of it as an alcoholic trying to cut down from 2 bottles of vodka a day to 1 glass of vodka and coke. The urge is always there.
I know im not alone out there. There are thousands of good players out there who could be very successful but the urge to gamble it up controls them. But I dont want to still be a losing degen two years down the line. You have to admitt your failings and confront them.
"Nothing is Impossible"