By
Hinderantz
“Admissions to Myself”
“Hello.” I say.
“Hello” says the group.
“My name is Hinderantz and I am a losing online poker player.”
And in one split second I came to a realization that has taken me years to say, that I am a losing poker player. It is something that I suppose I have known for awhile, but would never admit to. I am sure many of you reading this are in the exact same boat I was in. Many of you are currently in denial. Maybe this article will serve some purpose, and you will look in the mirror and realize the same thing.
I can tell you how I saw my poker career, and I bet a lot of it will sound familiar to what you tell yourselves. I always thought that I knew exactly what I was doing. I thought I could outplay anyone. I thought I could make it big. Sure I had made a few deposits online, only to play outside my BR and lose it all, but I knew that this next deposit was going to be the one. Oops……..use echeck again. “That was only $50…..if I deposit $200, then I will be able to play $2/$4 NL and I won’t get called by a gutshot straight draw and get sucked out on. Oops…….use echeck again.
Any of this sounding familiar? I can only imagine. I will continue.
So after making deposits of approximately $2,000 online, you would think that I could tell myself to quit. But the problem is that I wasn’t losing because I was bad at poker, I was losing because variance!!!! It had to be!!! I can’t even remember the last time I actually sucked out on someone, but yet it happens to me EVERY SINGLE DAY! At some point the tables will turn. Oops…….use debit card.
I think you understand what I am getting at here. And I know for a fact that many of you think the way I thought. Now fast forward to today (and a total of about $8K in losses). It was not too long ago that, through P5’s contacts, I was able to chat with a ranked P5’r on AIM one night. I had railed him recently after an OT’s told me about him, and was impressed with play. Through the railing and the AIM chats and HH’s over a few days, I realized very quickly that this guy was on a COMPLETELY different level than I was. He was making plays that I had never made, he had patience like I had never seen before, and yet aggressive when needed. I was blown away. I realized then (maybe 3 weeks ago) that I was a losing player for 2 reasons. 1) I was not a student of the game. Watching ESPN coverage of the WSOP is not the same as reading books, understanding BR management, talking poker with winning players, and “using your head” when playing. I haven’t read a book in probably 12 years, however I have read 6 in the last 2 weeks, including all 3 HoH and also “The Poker Mind” I still have 4 books here to read, which will be done in a week.
And the second reason………that’s right…….I thought I was better than everyone. The pure idiocy of that thought is humorous to me now, but yet, the thought was in my mind. The thought never crossed my mind in the past that someone could outplay me. I expected respect from my EP raises. I made spite calls so that I wouldn’t get shown a bluff. Plain and simple, I was dumb.
So why am I writing this? That’s a good question. I am not sure. Maybe to brag about chatting with a ranked player? No. I am writing this because I know that there are a TON of losing player out there that are in the same mindset that I was. Now, I have not changed 100%. I am still not a winning player. I still find myself trying to outplay someone instead of just laying it down and waiting for a better spot. But I am improving. And as a losing player, I know that I wish someone had pointed out to me long ago that I would never get better unless I made a true effort to learn and understand the game. So to all you losing players out there, I challenge you. I challenge you to :
1.) Keep a TRUE log of your play - Keep your details accurate, because staring at a negative number in a spreadsheet is a clear indicator that you are a losing player, and you won’t be able to say in your head……eh…..I’m about even.
2.) Read a book (or 10) – So many of us think we know it all, but I can guarantee that from every book you read, you will learn something. Could me a minor detail you never thought of, but any piece of information is important.
3.) Talk poker – How can having another perspective on a hand ever be a bad thing?
And
4.) Play within your bankroll (I am still working on this one) – Becoming a student takes time, and you can’t just double up and be “a winning player”