A View Into The Mind Of A Donk

After playing 450 SNG’s within a matter of 3 or 4 weeks, I can confidently tell the pocketfives community that I am indeed a winning player. I don’t believe that after this many SNG’s, that my results can be chalked up to luck. In the end, everyone gets dealt the same cards, deals with the same flops, and plays against the same donks. So why is it so hard to win consistantly?

Well, first and foremost, people let their emotions get the better of them. “Tilt” is such a poker buzzword now, that I think people have forgotten what it means. To tilt, is to play irrationally or abnormally different due to frustration stemming from lack of emotional control – (made that up myself!) When a player tilts, they are not in their “right” frame of mind. I know that every single one of you has gone on at least one form of tilt. An example would be…

KK vs. JT Board -K492Q after you had bet moderately hard at it the whole way.

“How the hell could you call a 3x bet on the flop with Jack high and a gutshot?”
“Didn’t think you had anything.”
Next series of hands – You are on TILT.

These hands are so frustrating, yet so satisfying if you think about it rationally. This guy is going to call you down with a 4 outer? All the power to him. Think about how many chips you are going to win off a guy like this if you play against him enough. And you know as well as I do, there are THOUSANDS of guys like this who play poker. I don’t mind losing like this. As long as I constantly betting and raising, than let the donks catch their slim chances. The amount of times I’m going to (and HAVE won) these hands defeintly makes up for it. Think about all the times they fold on the river…they must have been chasing something that missed.

Here’s another donk-tacular conversation I’ve seen. Mind you this was 4-Handed at the 150/300 level.

“How can you call all in for 4200 chips with Q9o?”
“I won the hand didn’t I?”
Next series of hands – You are on TILT.

Don’t let these things affect you. If you still have chips, you still have an opportunity to win. You can actually use this supposed tilt to your advantage, as I’ll explain in a bit.

Believe me when I say I know how frustrating some of these things are. They are absolutely dumbfounding. You are wondering how the hell that person is able to breathe on his own, let alone click a mouse and beat you.

Well, here are some ways to beat the donks.

1. Bet friendly. Nobody at the table LIKES to be picked on. If it seems (and you KNOW when it seems) that a player is having his blind stolen, or being reraised countless times… the donk is going to get fed up. And very often you will see that same player risk all of his chips against the person who has been raising and raising him with QTo because quite frankly, they are fed up. The donk is fed up with you betting and raising him all the time. He’s taking it personally. You have offended his honour. He doesn’t want for you to keep doing this to him, so he’s going to make an irrational, donk play as if to say “I’m SICK of this crap! I’m ALL IN! Take THAT!!!”

Don’t let it come to this. Don’t make yourself a target for the donks. I think the statements “let the donks knock each other” out doesn’t do much good, because that means somebody else has all those chips… I rather like the statement “don’t get in the way of a donk who is ready to put a bad beat on you for a lot of chips” (made that one up myself too!)

Take it easy on the betting. There is no need to CONSTANTLY raise your button. Even the dumbest of donks will catch on sooner or later. If you’ve raised your button three times in a row, than most likely you should fold the next time without a premium hand. The contrary to this is, if you do happen to pick up a premium hand, raise the exact same amount and show it if he folds, as if you were saying “every time I bet this amount, I have a hand that is this powerful.”

You can also slow down when you know you have the better hand on the river. Check behind him as if to say “Boy, I wasn’t sure if you were slowplaying or what! You are a tricky player! Nice hand man!” Meanwhile your scooping in the chips. This kind of thing lets your opponent know that when you check, you are not sure if you have a winner, but when you are betting – you are very sure.

2. Be friendly. Being friendly helps you to steal blinds. “Ah he wouldn’t steal my blind without a hand, we’re buddies!” I always think of myself as South Park’s Satan “Ah c’man relax guy!!” when I steal a pot off of a “buddy” for some reason.

I know there is some contraversy over the term “nh”, but if a donk sucks out and you tell him “nh”, well than honestly – he is going to be less likely to defend against you. Sub-conciously, he believes that you wouldn’t dare try to pull any funky stuff against him, because you are his friend! Even just shooting the shit with somebody makes them less likely to do anything out of the ordinary. You wouldn’t dare steal his blind, or reraise him without a hand, because you’ve
been courtieous enough to show him all your good hands and make him feel like he is making all the right laydowns. It’s kind of funny – but every time I don’t show my hand, I am almost always raising with a hand that I couldn’t handle a reraise from. But donks are ONLY going to remember all of the times that you showed them your KK and your AQh. They simply can’t equate that if you are raising, you might not have a real hand. Be courtious and friendly and make them feel like they are making good folds – because that is almost ALWAYS what you want your opponent to do…FOLD.

3. Be aware. Be aware when your donks are steaming and just pushing because they are pissed off. Sometimes it makes sense to make a call with A5o against a donk who is pissing away his last chips. I think some of the best plays in poker are the plays you really truly don’t expect. In particular, when a player loses most of their chips in a hand, and immediately push the next hand. I think to myself, “this guy clearly doesn’t have much – he’s just frustrated.” Than I think, wow I can use this. This would be a phenominal play here if he had a premium hand because look how badly it doesn’t look like he has a premium hand. Than I’m able to recognize those spots where my opponents would be thinking what I was thinking originally, and call me with an A5o, and double me through with my QQ or KK or whatever.

4. Be fearless. Donks will suckout on you. You will suckout on donks. It’s enevitable. But if you ever find yourself saying “Oh why should I even bet, he’s just going to call and suckout” you probably shouldn’t be playing cards. Keep being the aggressor and keep making continuation bets on the flop. This is where the majority of hands are won – on the flop. Don’t give your donks any reasons to stay in the hand with you (unless you want them to of course). Always try to be the bettor.

Random Donk Quotes
“I like to trap people.”
“Why bet if some idiot is going to do it for me”
“I didn’t want him to fold, though.”

Okay…so all three of these quotes have one common equation. Don’t bet. Or, don’t bet much. How does this make sense again?

First off, “trapping” is not normally not a good play. Trapping in the sense that you want your opponent to bet for you, or so that you can raise your opponent. Trapping doesn’t have to be like this. You can also trap your opponent by betting a certain amount that he is forced to call or raise, or be embarrassed to fold at. Like a 2x bet into a 30x pot with the nuts. You could “trap” him into reraising that weak bet. You could also trap your opponent by making him pay through the nose with a hand like… QQ vs AT on a AQ46A board. If you are always betting, than your continuation bet with your set get called with AT. Than, you can “trap” by checking the turn and/or smooth calling the turn. Than, over betting with your underboat to his trip Aces. It’s going to be pretty tough for a donk to fold trip aces with a medium kicker like that. He’s not calling any other hand besides an ace, and if he does have an ace… make him pay for his unfortunate situation. Don’t let him get off easy. And if he folds quickly, you can be rest assured that he didn’t have an ace, and he wasn’t going to pay you off anyways. That is another form of “trapping.”

Donk’s tend to think more in hand values. They think that if they have a fullhouse, wahoo! I have a full boat! I’m going to win the hand, and are shocked when they only win minimal chips. “But I had a boat!?” Well, donk…consider this. I’m sure you have all seen this before.

McGidders wins the pot (3200) with a pair of Tens.
Donk! wins the pot (550) with a fullhouse, Aces and Kings.

So why did the donk only win that many chips. Well, its pretty clear they don’t play their good hands aggressively. They are always looking to “trap” players into doing the betting for them. I can’t believe how many times I’ve heard “Why bet if they idiots are going to do it for you?” This coming from the guy who has won 3 hands all SNG, and is barely hanging on. I always feel like telling this donks “Don’t you realize how many pots I’ve stolen off of you with nothing? But than I remember I don’t want people to stop playing the way they are, and I defeintly don’t want them to think I am playing nothing but textbook poker. Trapping situations simply don’t come up enough.

My main point here is to identify with the donks. At one point or another in your poker career, I am sure you have made some donk plays and not realized it till now. You have to understand that donk plays, especially at the lower buy-in levels are going to happen TONNES of the time. Regardless of how STUPID some of these players are, they are essentially going to make you money in the long run – if you know how to use it against them. I know that’s such a cliché, but it’s true. You most often only see the donk play when his cards are shown to you. Well what about the hundred upon thousands of time when you have bet your AK on the AK9 board and the guy has called you all the way down with QJ? He folds the river bet, but look at all those extra chippies you won because that guy was a donk? But if he hit his straight, you’d be right pissed. I can’t remember the last time I got actually emotionally upset while playing online. If you play often enough, you’re going to see it all. So I’m never really “shocked” by anything anymore.

Before getting mad because your donk didn’t fold when he was supposed to, or didn’t realize how you were setting him up all game to bluff him, or whatever it is – try to take a view into his donkish mind, and see if you made the correct play and he donked out on you…or if it was in fact YOU who made the donkish play of not recognizing the current situation.

DONK!

-gidders