Obv I assume that I have worked on my game to a point where I lost my drive to blog! But tbh I really think and know that writing blogs actually helped my motivation. I am not the best player or the best writer, but it's funny how much I have to say when I think about it. Poker have actually had a very large impact on how mentally and physically fucked I am right now. I guess when you have goals you have to attack them; Or at least work on them moving forward. I remember at the beginning or start of this blog; I had 0 wins and was ranked like 38th in my Illinois community! And sadly as long as I have been a member here, I was never ranked in the top 100 in the United States player pool.
Now instead of one MTT ship I have a few of them; Along with a nice collection of 2nd and 3rd place finishes also! Working a 9-5 has to be one of my biggest bitches; But a bitch that I am willing to live with atm. With the state of online poker and recent skin separation at Merge. I guess my drive to play has been hampered a bit, with moving all the money around from one site to another. I just wish this shit was regulated, and that we could just get on with it! Im really getting tired of the whole online poker movement; And the "I wish we had stars" comments. I mean it's just so fucking depressing right now; And most nights I play it's just a fucking REG fest.
I mean im never the one to run away from competition; But some nights it's just a big ass cooler fest with small edges. Everything just seems to be so lite now, from sick calls and raises, to the fucking stations running 38/10 and always getting there LoL. I guess this post has turned more into a rant than a post of my progress. But fuck it!!!!! Once Merge changed the schedule, and having built a decent 5K roll on Sportsbook I was really pissed! Firstly the player pools just went to shit as well as the timing; WIth work and poker most weekdays for myself! So eventually I cashed out like most of my roll there; And at the time put money on Pokerhost to play more events.
Once OPS began or was official, I decided to make an account on Carbon; But honestly I have just opted not to play much if any atm to work on shit. Poker is still a game that's fun to me, but REALTALK it's just starting to become a fucking headache dealing with all the shit right now. Sportsbook has always been my 1st love on the network, but now the buy-ins and volume just make the run bad that much worse and for more money! Hopefully shit changes and my scores there are tracked eventually lol; As well as the shitty schedule that's driving me insane right now(end rant).
As far as my play goes I do feel ive come a long way; But it's really funny how much more shit I need to learn to next level this shit! I mean the higher you play the more thin value and the less mistakes you can make obv! And wheni say mistakes, I really mean the small dumb ass mistakes lol. Right now discipline is one of the biggest issues I have; Along with finding the fold button. I have also had to deal with taking the beats; That seem to come and fuck you when your at your best! I am doing my best to take; What seems like the long term bad and the short term good! But honestly once we look into holdem manager we se that it's just a mental mind fuck that we give ourselves!