1. ok so im sitting at a $10/20 table on ub... table is just how i like it, lots of preflop raises and that flop is usually heads up. im in the BIG BLIND!!! with 7 7. I look down and do backflips in my living room LOL!. Anyway.. 2 limpers which i think is strange, i put them on 6 6 and 5 5 meaning i have an overpair on both of them and have them suit dominated. I raise it up so fast their heads start to spin! Ok they both call. Ok I think, time to take down a monster pot. flop comes K 8 2 giving me a big pair and a flush draw. i pause for like 45 seconds to make it look like i dont know what to do (i am doing frontflips in my basement now lol!) i bet it out and the first limper calls, the second limper raises! lol he doesnt nkow what is coming!!! i smooth call to slow play, setting up my ropes for my trap! turn card. 5 hmmm i think.. ok, my one opponent doenst have 5 and 5 like i put it on but that is ok, i basically have my flush. this is also good for another reason because it is unlikely that anyone has a straight draw because i have 2 of the 7s in my hand and it would be difficult to make a striaght without a 7 since it is one of the middle cards ini the deck. i check, hoping to check raise (the best move in poker). person behind me checks and the guy in position bets (lol he is so stupid! some poeple just dont know poker!) i raise it up so slowly it makes his head spin! guy behind me folds... DAMN I WANTED HIS $40!!!! eh its ok ill just take all of this newbs money :) he calls which makes me know i am ahead... (side note, whenever someone raises you, you are behind, if they call, you are ahead) river card, cash card, coming.. OH WAIT, STUPID CARD!!! 10 on da river.. giving me my flush!!! i yell WOOT WOOT so loud that my neighbor comes over to see the end result of this hand... i bet out, he raises... i LOL so hard and 3 bet it.. he caps it and I call so fast!!! OH.... MY..... GOD..... this moron shows AK for the flush... HE WAS LIKE 1/147.5 TO MAKE THE FLUSH ACCORDING TO DOYLE!!!! I CANT BELIEVE HOW BAD SOME PEOPLE ARE AT THE GAME!!! they just dont understand when to fold their pathetic hands... anyway... i hope you enjoyed the worst beat ive ever seen at the tables in my 8 years of playing cards... GOOD LUCK... YOU WILL NEED IT OUT THERE!!!

    Adam and Cal... my UB tag is BigHems... just give me the $20 now THANK YOU!!! LOL :)
    Add BigHems to Rail
  2. wow, what were u smokin when u played that hand and when u wrote this? let me know, cus that must have been some strong stuff.
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  3. are you just trying to be funny? the guy had you on the flop.
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  4. This was one of the funniest posts I have seen on this site...

    i put them on 6 6 and 5 5 meaning i have an overpair on both of them and have them suit dominated

    Add JD Roark to Rail
  5. Maybe Adam will start giving $20 to the most unintentionally funny post each month?

    At least I learned something new today. 3 to a flush after the flop is still considered a flush draw, and even if two overcards come on the flop when I'm holding a pocket pair, I know I'm still ahead.

    Thank God for Ultimate Buddy....
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  6. LOL I cant imagine this post is serious
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  7. Hahaha..hilarious!!!!!!!!

    Anyone who thinks he's actually serious needs counseling.
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  8. No kidding, great post.
    Add skatter to Rail
  9. Hahaha. Sweet bad beat story. I really don't know what's funnier though, the post or some of the serious-sounding replies. Suit dominating, overpair sevens rock! :D
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  10. UM What Was So Great About Your Hand All U Had Was 77? And The Guy Had U On The Flop And All U Had Was A 7 High Flush Buddy So What The Hell Are U Talking About
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  11. OMG CMoney you are a total rookstick. Read the replies afterward. And way to improve on your punctuation. I see a question mark in there!
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  12. Well I don't know about the rest of you but I want to find BigHems on a table, I need his chips

    Webster's poker dictionary describes BigHems; a legend but only in ones own mind
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  13. I liked it too. The narrator makes pretty much every bonehead mistake in thought that people make in these games. Assuming people have whatever cards are convenient to assume (55 and 66 if you have 77), staying in on any draw that you think might have a chance to win the hand, being unable to release a pocket pair, thinking he was unlucky simply because he lost a big pot---everyone else is bad, he's unlucky. While this post was obviously comical, it's also brilliant. I wish I could do a first person narrative of what my opponents are thinking.
    Add Adam to Rail
  14. Very Nice BigHems. As you may guess, I rarely laugh when reading this forum, so this was a pleasure.
    Add Cal to Rail
  15. Damn you Hems! And I thought I had a good story this month. Very very funny.
    Add TiltMcTilt to Rail
  16. that was the funniest post I ever read on any fourm, great stuff..give that man the 100,000 now!
    Add TheWas to Rail
  17. I Love this post. I printed it out and posted it in my home. My favorite is that, having 77, you put your opponents on 66 & 55...so convenient...and I guess if you had QQ you had them on JJ and TT...priceless! Keep it rolling!
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  18. I'm kinda new to poker but I don't think you have to be a seasoned pro to enjoy "have them suit dominated." Big Hems should get $20 just for that line alone! Hysterical! Pumps
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  19. "I raise it up so fast their heads start to spin! ... " i raise it up so slowly it makes his head spin! "

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  20. I'm just replying to this to bring it back up front. I read it from time to time and still laugh my ass off. Good partying!
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  21. Man I feel for you Big Hems. I hate when you make the perfect read and lose to frieken idiots! They were SOOOOT DOMINATED!!!!
    Thread StarterAdd BigHems to Rail
  22. Hems thats just too funny man...u crazy you know that those crazy idiots will beat you with crap like AK...rofl
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  23. That is the funniest thing I have ever read!

    Give the man a prize....
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  24. i want to fight you bighems you think you're big shiz you're not funny i hate you
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  25. bump

    just read this for first time cuz it was referenced

    bump cuz it so damn funny lol
    Add klslcz to Rail
  26. hahahahahaaaaaaaaa that shit is funny! so you have the 7 7, and you for some reason, out of the blue, you put the other two players on 5 5 and 6 6? damn you have some great opponent reading skills. how the fu-k can you put two players on underpairs when you only have a 7 7? shit next time i'll see 2 2 i will automatically put the other two players on Joker Joker and two blank cards, go all in and Bam! I am the winnner! Wanna make a Bet?

    Jack_Ace75 on pp
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  27. I didn't realize there were so many donks on P5's. Adam and Cal please include I.Q. test as prerequisite for posting on this site. We cant allow these morons that have no sense of humor or ability to scroll down and see other replys befor replying themselves, to post on this site!! Ahhhhhhhhhh just kiddin, these donks are almost as funny as BiG Hems!!!!!! WOOOOOOT

    p.s i went all in to see where i was at. LMFAO
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  28. I personally like "i LOL so hard and 3 bet it"
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  29. I hope u know that we can see who posts this...
    Add adawg91 to Rail

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