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Ashevillain

Pissing it all away!

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I will admit I am a bit of a Donk in recovery, Ive played live and online for about 10 years now with breaks in between at various times. Ive recently started blowing stupid amounts of cash the past few months. At times I am the best player at the table, TAG. and Lately I just can't seem to tighten up or walk away from the table or chill while chip leader in a tournament. Admittedly I've only recently begun to add proper math to my game and at times I am struggling with that part but my main issue is I seem to zone out and piss away my gains too easily. I had back to back sessions where I run up over a grand in 2/5 NL on separate days and then lose it all and then some. Im starting to feel like a problem gambler. I have placed first in many MTT tournaments prior to taking a couple year break but now I am doubting myself entirely and questioning if I've ever learned to play correctly. ... I have poor mental discipline and take prescribed Aderall... thus the rant... but any advice you guys could give would mean allot.

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Poker is a game that's tough to stay on top of mentally, especially if you play MTTs regularly. Even the best players in the world struggle with mental game leaks from time to time. The reason why they are the best is because they find ways to plug their leaks and continue to make good decisions despite everything.

I can't give much advice on cash game strategy, as my expertise is in MTT's. I would recommend lowering your average buy in levels for MTT's enough to the point where one bad day will not have the financial impact to affect your mind in a negative way.

Also, poker strategy and theory is an ever evolving beast, so in the few years that you've been on break, other regs have advanced their games immensely. It's not uncommon in poker to step away, and come back only to get "owned" by regs with superior skill.

It sounds like you need to get current with the game in order to restore mental confidence. There are so many resources and good training sites out there that you could be taking advantage of to bring you back to speed. I would recommend runitonce.com, as i have used the library of videos for two years to stay on top of my game. It's pricy but worth it imo. I also hear good things about Upswing Lab, although i've never used it myself.

You've taken the first step into admiting that your game may need work, now find the motivation to act on it and find a way to improve! These p5's forums are full of people willing to help those who are serious about poker.

Good Luck!

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I pay the 99 a month, but sometimes I will just buy it for a several month span to study and then downgrade my membership to cut costs. The free version is an ok starter to get familiar with the site, but the "Elite" version has insight from a wide variety of top online professionals in all different game types.

My favorite coach for MTT's is Sam Grafton, I can say he's really made the biggest difference in my game. But there are tons of pro's who specialize in different areas. They are all very friendly and willing to chat with all of the elite members, and in general you can ask them any questions and they will provide detailed and thought out responses in a timely manner.

If you sign up, I would recommend watching some of the videos by James Obst first. He has some special mental game videos that have really changed the way I think about myself and others. He's brilliant in fact.

Let me know if you have any more questions!

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While reading this I was asking myself why an admittedly losing player is playing 500nl. The regs around there will continue to chew you up. Drop stakes drastically, seek coaching material and work with your tracking software to suss out your most glaring leaks and proceed from there. Also wouldn't be getting carried away with running up a couple grand at those stakes. To be perfectly honest, it's very possible that you made major errors, managed to win those hands, without even realizing it was an error in the first place. That won't last too long, which kinda falls in line with what you've posted - in that you run it up then get taken out quite often. Players at those stakes will take every penny you're willing to play with over and over until you're good enough to hang with them. I liked the Upswing MTT Masterclass but have never used the Lab as I don't like NLH cash games, prefer PLO myself but I don't play often. Mainly just for fun or fish hunting for my MTT notes.

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I have a few pieces of advice for you

1) Commit to studying. You are not as great as you think you are. Ever. Until you put up results like Jason Koon or Bryn Kenney, err on the side of being humble about your game. Fortunately this country and world is big enough that you don't need to beat those guys day in and day out and you can still be highly successful. I'm glad you finally acted on whatever tingle you had in your body to get yourself to start this thread. Please don't be like so many people that just withers away after this post. Make the decision this time to do things the right way, stop wasting time and become a student of the game.

2) Read through this forum and scroll through many pages/threads of people that have had mental game challenges. We all face them. Yours are not unique. Admit them, dwell on them and figure out how to cope with them, rather than defeat them. That is the basis for all cognitive behavior therapy and I think you'll get a lot of good ideas if you just scour this forum and use your resources. I also recommend you buy books or content by Jared Tendler and/or Elliot Roe.

3) Chill the f out. Sorry I don't mean to pick on you as you have been very transparent about the medication you are taking. I applaud you for being open about that and I assure you many others can relate to you. However, you have to realize that this is a hurdle for you that you need to cope with. And part of that coping mechanism is to begin meditating or employing mind tricks which essentially get you to chill the f out. I realize it's easier said than done, but you cannot play clear, fearless poker at a high-level, much less be a solid winning reg until you are emotionally centered.

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Thanks man, You had me kind of realize that my Compulsive bad play is likely relative to the Adderall. Nasty stuff , Neurotoxic and makes you think you are invincible.

I would argue that these drugs are only nasty if their effects on your body are nasty. Alot of people find these drugs to be helpful in their everyday lives. I'm prescribed ritalin and it helps my daily attention and prevents depression.

My point is if you view it as nasty, then it's probably not helping you. I would recommend that you not take it ;)

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